Quick, somebody throw her a fish.

*laughing*... I disavow any knowledge of what the anonymous commenter meant by that.

Mark and Sarah:

First a comment on your coin montage: I find the use of geometric shapes to be an overused symbol these days, similar to Boscone's use of the "comet as salad" metaphor. My preference is for more metaphysical structures that involve involucers and tomentose residuals as, not so much statements, but proclamations.

Also wanted you guys to know that we will be around on Sunday so just give us a call if you want to come over.

Thanks

sam

*laughing*... Symbol? What?

(Sam's place.)

That's RAMALAMF, man - it says so right here on my t-shirt...

*laughing*... It says that on your non-conformist t-shirt? Fight the power! Question AuFority! Eat my Fuck, asshole! ("What does 'Eat my fuck' mean?") ("Yaz all wah gonna go away fuh th' weekend while they installed th' hot tub, wantcha?")

Like a mofo.

(It occurs to me: You never told the tale of the Bettenburg Habitrail when I asked, or the saga of the Stinson streetsign. So I hesitate to ask you to 'splain RAMALAMF for them outside the joke. Ah, screw 'em. Let 'em wonder.)

The Stinson street sign used to mark (no pun intended) the intersection of 68th Avenue and Stinson Boulevard, near my home in Fridley.

Used to, until one of drunken neighbors ran it down. I enlisted my mom into my life of crime, and she drove and slowed the car to a crawl under the cover of dusk while I leapt out and snagged the sign.

It meant a lot more to me then. Most things do.

Oh, yeah, and 'RAMALAMF' stands for 'Rapidly Approaching Middle Age Like A Mother Fucker', and it's a sort of a bastardization of the title of favorite record by Johnny Thunders & The Heartbreakers and the title of a favorite song by the MC5 (later covered by the Mofos).

RAMALAMF, baby.

Wow... you did it... Thanks!

It suddenly occurs to me how spectacularly unfair it is to expect anybody to explain the cryptic references that I sometimes make - even if they're so very cryptic that there's perhaps only a handful of people in the world who would have any idea at all about what I was saying.

So in the spirit of openness, honesty, and trust: I've been fiddling with the books for the past several years and fudging figures to the tune of billions of dollars - but it's OK since I've now admitted it before I got caught, and we'll overlook the fact that my shennanigans are going to be a major contribution to the rising tsunami that is probably going to end up capsizing and washing away an awful hell of a lot of real financial lives (but not mine). That, and this is the source of "Eat my fuck, asshole":

I have that street sign in my home.

New internet thing: BIAD = Back in a Day

TV ROCKS!

cool.  me will need make time soon to play.

something go wrong already?

Not wrong, but not right.

my fault, so sorry

I'm more a a quip kind of guy; sustaining anything, particularly a train of thought, is out of my realm of possibility.  I'm out of the game.  Pumpkin eater.

But notice the carryover with the serene shot and the graveyard.  That was funny, wasn't it?  The whole foreshadow/backreference/dark humor thing?

Yar, I got it, and appreciated the weave you made. Observational zingers and referential one-liners are a different kind of creativity, no less artful than longer stuff... but more valuable these days, maybe, given the ostensibly-declining attention span of the public at large. Which is why I'm trying to go the other way with Making Contexts, I guess.

As for you not being able to sustain a direction - I don't believe it. I've got copies of some great stuff you've written (somewhere), and I've long been jealous of its inventiveness. I guess maybe that kind of thing isn't as pleasurable for you, since it flows so easily.

gawd

So...what happens?

Nothing. Not a thing. It's a pointless frivolity that I've squeezed all the joy out of. I thought you knew that about the things I do...

thank

mucho gracias
grace
danke sehr
grazie
dankzegging

I frequently swear I'll never temp again, then I end up doing it anyway when I need money. It's godawful thankless, soulless work.

I have countless anecdotes, but most of them make me to bitter to recount. Better I should give you advice, I think:

Don't forget that the agency is getting something out of you - they'll sometimes prey upon your good protestant work ethic (I was raised in Minnesota too, remember) and make you feel like you owe them something - most likely silence when you get job that's something like getting coffee for an executive whose leg is broken (whoop, there's an anecdotal tale!). You owe them nothing but good work doing whatever it is you want to do.

Best o' luck!

Hmm, yes. Something I will definitely need to keep in mind - that, um, let's see... the idea isn't 'selfishness'... but rather 'self-preservation.' I need to not give myself away, as I tend to.

I called Manpower today after I posted the entry, and shortly into their preliminary queries it was recommended that I use Manpower "Pro" - an officeless, web-only system for people who are somehow above being a bumper-chromer. Didn't really think I was... but I really would rather not chrome bumpers again.

Back to the resume.

I made a mistake that time. They said "No relevance," not "No relatives."

Sir, I temped through Manpower for about a year after I exited American Express and had many an adventure. I found that a lot of my temp employers were afraid of me because they realized I just didn't care about their particular company. Also, I found after arriving at the job site people expected me to know a job after an hour of training even if a regular employee would be trained for 2 months.

Jeremy is correct, though: you don't owe the agency anything but a good job. I also walked away from assignments that made me uncomfortable or weren't what the agency described to me.

My last bit of advice is this: Always introduct yourself thusly--"Hello, Americans, this is Paul Harvey. Stand by for news!" And when asked about your previous job always end your tale with "And now you know the rest of the story."

Heh!

Another friend of mine temped for quite a while and explained how he'd always arrive late, so - when his absence was noted because things weren't getting done, his importance would be obvious.

And Manpower (headquartered internationally here in Milwaukee) sucks baby corn.

I have to agree somewhat about Manpower. At first it seemed cool because they got me a $16/hr job doing nothing. After that it went quickly downhill and sometimes it would take them a few weeks to find jobs. And very disorganized.

Don't know if you have Volt Temp services in your area. We hire temps from them and the people we get are happy with what Volt gets for them.

I worked for Volt (who haven't I worked for?), can't remember where. My lack of memory about them means I have no gratingly bitter memory of them - which probably means they were okay.

Also, I temped for MacSpecialists when I lived in NoVa. I think they've gone, been bought up by MacTemps, but that was a good place, FWIW.

I think I was a Kelly Girl in DC, too...

Thanks all! Much good help and commentary. "Page... two." Begin the beguine.

Will work for $$.

The Kindergartners are falling again.

"Doh!"

Green is tart and sunny.  Smells like cool, rich black mud.

No misunderstood, sah.  I's jes hate fighting at a loss!  Whils't I know's I's right, you's on the up-an'-up too, yah know?  Shi.

Hangmen live in caves, alone, and never take their hoods off.

The help message for the previous entry reads, "Wherein your host accepts that there's an awful hell of a lot of information out there to pick and choose from."

The hangman in this entry didn't live in a cave, or alone, and he didn't wear a hood on-duty or off. The people being hanged wore the hoods. However, the hangman's friend - the beheader - did wear a hood.

It is important to keep in mind that in this story, the Fish is not meant to symbolize Christ.

See what I mean?

No.

There is only one hangman whose gun is loaded, that way everyone can walk away thinking theirs was one of the duds.  Or, if the hangman has a calvin pissing sticker in the window of his truck, or has even considered acquiring one, he can think his gun contained the live ammo.  While it is difficult to shoot wearing a hood, many hangmen say the challenge of shooting with a hood on was the very reason they chose the vocation.

The fairy in the potted meat can.

"No wishes granted for the stupid!"

"Yabble-Dabble!"

"Elementary, Watson.  You should have known!  If I were President of America, none of this would have happened!  The signs were so evident, it's as though you let it happen twice!"

Where were all these brilliantly hind-sighted finger-pointers b4 the Twin Tower Incident?  I am uninformed; I am sure they hollered their message from mountaintops, but no one would listen.  I am sure.

That's not to say I don't think the strip is funny.

For instance

Yup.  "Might, may, perhaps, alleged, could, plan, possibly, potential, reported, said, warned, indicated, thought, sometime, somewhere."  It was all hearsay, and it was paid attention to and investigated (to a degree). . . but . . . box openers, for crying out loud!  Box openers.  Would we, the American People, have stood for the police state some say we now live in had nothing happened to precipitate it?  No.

In mighty America, the theory goes that people (and entities) are innocent until proven guilty. The press uses soft terms in this regard - ostensibly out of respect for that, but more to avoid lawsuits, certainly.

Box openers have been naughty in airports for some time. The sister of the ex, a grocery store worker, had box openers in her purse one time. They caused a problem at airport security at MSP. That was about five years ago. (The ceramic knife thing some of them terorrists did, that was clever.)

In Minnesota, for the last couple decades I was there, one TV news team or another seemed to have done a news story every couple years about how shitty airport security was. Reporters would stroll through secure areas, pick up and move baggage, walk onto empty airplanes, all without challenge. There were similar stories on the national news about other airports. Every time one of these stories ran, there were calls for better security - people wanted it! asked for it! demanded it! - and it wasn't provided. Now we've got soldiers with automatic weapons patrolling our airports.

FWIW, 'police state' is defined thus: "a government that seeks to intimidate and suppress political opposition by means of police, esp. a secret police force."

Understood.  But who would have put up with the incessant searches?  If times are good, which they were, and there is no precedent for imposing such inconveniences, which there wasn't really, few citizens would have dealt with it.  The ambient complaints alone would have put a stop to such practices within days.

"Possibly, perhaps, maybe."  It is not the press' words I quote; all the warnings truly were conjecture, hearsay.

"Some say" police state.  Read carefully, deary, and don't be so literal.  I would call it a personally/individually restrictive atmosphere.  A military state, if you will.

The phrase "But it's for our own good" doesn't mean much unless we're scared.

The Bush administration has, for the first time, issued a report that says manmade emissions are tied to global warming and predicts that temperature changes will deeply affect the United States. Environmentalists said Monday the predictions warrant stronger action by President Bush, while some Bush supporters blasted the report as unscientific. The administration stood by its existing strategy, saying it protects the economy while protecting the Earth.

Bush admits global warming exists, report recommends AC to offset effects
Well, the Shrub has finally admitted that global warming exists. He had to, after a study commissioned by his own government said, basically, "Duh, yes, stop being an idiot." However, the same report contains such howlers as "Health impacts ... can be ameliorated through such measures as the increased availability of air conditioning."

Besides, Bush looks like he enjoys playing the "strong leader in hard times."  Maybe he's in on it.  (Internet Spies, please note that I'm typing facetiously.  Expect my written apology tomorrow in every morning paper and news talk show.  Whatever you write into my apology, Internet Spies, I will gladly sign my name to.)

More potted meat pictures!

The White House on Wednesday revealed that Bush received a CIA analysis August 6 that raised the possibility of a jet hijacking involving Osama bin Laden.

But Bush administration officials said that report lacked specifics, such as where and when, and that it wasn't even fathomable at that time that terrorists would essentially turn jets into huge, fuel-laden missiles, crashing them into buildings.

But other reports show that very possibility was considered by some intelligence experts and investigators before September 11...

Philippine investigators said that in 1995 they told the FBI about a terrorist plot to hijack commercial planes and slam them into the Pentagon, the CIA headquarters and other buildings. Philippine authorities say they learned of that plot after a small fire in a Manila apartment, which turned out to be the hideout of Ramzi Yousef, who was later convicted for his role in the 1993 bombing of the World Trade Center.

[I]n September 1999... [an] interagency government report... referenced bin Laden's terrorist network, al Qaeda, and its potential involvement in such a plot.

In the executive summary of that 149-page report, prepared during the Clinton administration and available on the Library of Congress Web site, the authors wrote:

"Al Qaeda's expected retaliation for the U.S. cruise missile attack against al Qaeda's training facilities in Afghanistan on August 20, 1998, could take several forms of terrorist attack in the nation's capital. Al Qaeda could detonate a Chechen-type building-buster bomb at a federal building. Suicide bomber(s) belonging to al Qaeda's Martyrdom Battalion could crash-land an aircraft packed with high explosives (C-4 and semtex) into the Pentagon, the headquarters of the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), or the White House. Ramzi Yousef had planned to do this against the CIA headquarters."

So, what should have been done?

It all started long before dimpled chads.

Sadly, everything always comes back to a complacent, disinterested public. We elect these people. We don't inform ourselves before or after elections. We don't pay attention to what our government is doing. We pay no mind to the effects (or affects [a gift there, from me to you]) of our foreign affairs. We don't know history, our own or anybody else's. I'm as guilty as anybody. Guiltier.

What should have been done? We, the population, should all along have been living up to the promise of a government by and for the people. We should have been smarter, even if our leaders weren't.

Beg to differ, hosty, I didn't vote for the Shrub - neither did a majority of the voting citizens in the U.S. [quick - name the three all-time leaders in terms of percentage won of the popular vote. That's right: in reverse order, Bush (2000), Clinton (1996) and Gore (2000).]



What should we have done? What should we do? When I was younger and more energetic, I'd try nothing less than changing the whole fucking world. Now I consider it a victory if my household holds true to my belief system [whatever that is...]

Sorry, I'm not sure what you're differing with. Oh, I see: it looks like I was saying that we elected Bush. Sorry, that's not what I meant; I was ranting about the whole schmear.

That the last presidential race was close indicates to me that as a voting public, we're not informed. That Bush is in the White House indicates to me that as a voting public, we are complacent.

What should we (en masse) have done? In the first place, we should have been paying attention all along to what our politicians have really been doing - and then voting by the record instead of by party line and promises and nice teeth and name recognition and empty rhetoric. Like D Boone said, "Let the products sell themselves."

What should we have done after this past election? It could have been simple. If everybody who voted for anyone but Bush (or would have if they'd voted) made one phone call a day to their Representative - one phone call on the speed-dial every day, without fail and without cessation - the message would have been heard and Bush wouldn't still be where he is. All it would have taken was not caving. (Yes, I do still believe that the system can work.)

What can we do about it now? Not much besides getting ready for the next one.

Buda-Bum Tishhhh.

Sorry, man, I don't particularly believe in the system. As E. Costello once sang "I used to be disgusted, but now I'm just amused."

Somewhere in there, I quit being angry (much to the good of my mental and physical state) and started trying only to do things within my sphere like vote.

Cynical? Yeah, I guess, but events of 2000-on do seem to be reawakening my firebrand self (remember, I used to do stuff like sue my highschool) - I just try to work smarter (by affecting the things near me that I know I can change), not harder (by getting - and remaining - quixotically pissed off when some dunderheaded lawbreaker like Linda Chavez is nominated to Shrub's cabinet).


So my constant re-evaluation of self may yet lead me to take over the country and make it over in my image, but right now, probably sadly, I'm content to dwell in my urban home.


I hope any of that makes some kind of sense. And, by the way, I believe D. Boon spelled his name without the 'E'.

"You know, in many other places, waking up to a situation like the one I find this sunny and brisk November morn would mean that tanks and soldiers were about to march towards the palace for a little bloody coup action...
Gee, it's good to be an American sometimes."

Aren't you then, by voting, perpetuating a system in which you don't particularly believe?

Thing is, I don't particularly believe in the system either: it needs massive overhaul, tremendous change - but it's got to come from the bottom up, each of us doing a part... which doesn't have to be a whole lot more than voting - or not doing certain things. Like I said, I do believe that the system can be made to work - if people choose to work it. (And I also think that the safest way to change the system - that is, without bloodshed and savagery - is by using the system.)

The downside of everything I'm saying is, of course, that mob mentality can be just as dangerous as a powerful minority; both can do tremendous damage. The goodness and virtue of my notions depend first and foremost on people being informed, or at least smart... which is almost certainly the Achilles heel of the whole thing.

I share your gratefulness that we aren't in a place where there were post- (or pre-) 'election' tanks and soldiers. But that has very little to do with what I've been trying to say. I wonder: Isn't feeling that the government is outside of your sphere exactly what the elements of the government you'd like changed want you to feel? Don't they want us feeling powerless?

I understand and appreciate your points; Dave's too. Where we disagree, we disagree amicably. I've found these exchanges invigorating and challenging - when there's evidence that what I've said has been intellectually acknowledged.

I get the feeling people think I'm sounding angry or something; but I'm not writing angry. I wish I was able to be more clear.

By the way, D. Boon swiped the line I quoted from D Boone, who carved into a tree, "D Boone kilt a bar. Let the products sell themselves."

Politically disinterested people--formerly uninvolved, non-voting citizens--got caught up in a flurry of idiotic excitement and shackled me with Jesse Ventura.  Wellll, at-t least-t day vot-ted.  Day got-t out-t t-to da polls, and day vot-ted!  Hurray for America!  Hurray for Minnesota!  Vote Smart!  Vote Twice!  Just Vote!  I am babbling, that's what I do.  Can we talk about something else, now?

That's what I was talking about above: the Achilles heel of my desire... people not being informed, or at least smart.

I would prefer, yes, that we talk about something else now, because I'm feeling utterly misunderstood and dismissed and it's starting to give me flashbacks of childhood in religious school.

My apologies. I don't know that I misunderstood you so much as I didn't write very eloquently - my eloquence a casualty of coffee, work and listening to Captain Beefheart on headphones.


Yes, I think we agree - voting is a measure we can take to influence our own sphere (usually). Thaat is, indeed, working within the system. I think the system is broke (witness Dave's governor), but I still play at it. I just try to not be blood-boilingly angry at politicians and the system now - I save it for middle-aged buttheads in red sportscars who drive like testosterone-addled teenagers.


Yes, lets talk about religious school flashbacks. You know, I think while aspects of Catholic schools have been adopted for fetishistic icons (the naughty Catholic schoolgirl, the evil nun, etc.), Lutheran schools have been ignored. Why?

Nobody did nothin' what should have an apology attached but me. Fifteen yards for whining.

You and kv and Rodney - wherever he is, he dropped out before all this stuff - are the best friends I've got. (The Dearest One is in a class by herself, sorry.)

When people I don't care about disagree with me on something, I don't care. When people I do care about disagree with me on something, I get waaaay defensive. This is how I maintain my many successful relationships.

Sometimes I want a cigarette really bad.

1. Remember Curtiss A?  He's alive, but really old now.  2. Lutheran's are dissenters, and as such are not worthy of the effort required for Catholics to invent simple misinterpretations of their sacraments and rituals.  3. I quit smoking a few times; use the patch, man, and when you're really ready, promise on your marriage.  Seriously.  4. I'm no conspiracy theorist, but I'll bet there's alot we don't know.  And, unless we're made known all of it, I can't say one way or the other whether we SHOULD know.

Curtis A's first record rocked my world. I wish I could find it in digitized format.

Happy Birthday Sarah!

Thanks to youse kind folks who sent birthday greetings to the Dearest One!

Yes! Thank you all.

Thank God for words on art.  Idiot cave men and Egyptians tried art for words.  But now we got it right.  It's sometimes like the art is saying, "Now, wait a minute, let me explain myself here."  Of course, many times it is more interesting when the art says something simply to distract or confuse you.  It is fun when what the art says makes you say, "Well, shit."  As an Affectivitist, I enjoyed the way this art's words showed that the object of the art has the same first name as me.  As an Affectivitist, I will assert that the visual portion of the "work" (as an Affectivitist, I find repugnant the use of the term "work" for a work of art -- oops, there I go again) be called the object, and that the word portion of the "work" be called the subject.  As a non-Affectivitist, you cannot protest my assertions.  If you were an Affectivitist, you could, so join us!

When's this from?

J.

I think that I'm going to make kv's comments above into tomorrow's entry, accompanied by a set of links on Affective Disorder. Tomorrow. I think. And maybe include a limerick about Noah Webster from the annals of the Union of Arbitrary Linguists as well.

As for Mr Strenty's query: That picture's from the day Dave Randall went to his second cousin's wedding. OK, that wasn't at all clever, sorry. Let's examine the clues for a better answer: I see things in the background of the picture that belonged to the ex, and other things that were a wedding gift. I also see, sticking out from Dave's left elbow, part of a street sign - looks like 68th. That should sound mighty familiar to you. So it was after the 'outclassed' episode, and before that sign was restored to its rightful, uh, owner.

Gosh, I wonder what the story is behind that street sign. I wonder where it came from. Golly. I wonder who knows these things, who can tell us about these mysteries. I hope I won't have to unleash my new Telecult powers.

What is "butt tired"? Not sure I like the sound of that.

I'm looking at Affective Disorder.  There seems always to be a qualifier: Seasonal; Schizo-; Schizoaffective; Bipolar . . . Seasonal is verrry popular!

"union of arbitrary linguists" returns absolutely nothing . . . how odd.  Noah gave us written "skunk," and "chowder," and "hickory."  One could make a great limerick with just those.

Old Noah Webster, that anal-retainer / Tried and failed to make language plainer / By composing and imposing a lignuistic montage / Of presumptions and assumptions, une tasse du frommage.

In a simpler day of vocalization / One said what one meant with no authorization / Needed from some dusty manual of linguistic masturbation...

"Judge, be just. If you can't be just, be arbitrary." - William Burroughs, at the Naked Lunch obscenity trial

Frommage: "I like to pick a soft, a hard and a stinky one."

link
credit where credit is due.